"Alright, everyone settle down now," said Judge Bacon while pounding his gavel.
The pigs in the courtroom were arguing and oinking uncontrollably. It was mad chaos. A misdemeanor had been committed in the Oink City and Judge Bacon was determined to get to the bottom of it.
"Yesterday at 3 o'clock, there was a speed chase through Oink City. Someone was speeding down the street in a John Deere tractor, going way over the speed limit. Unfortunately, the cops were unable to seize the traffic violator. In order to keep this town safe, we must find the perpetrator in order to prevent our pig citizens from being run over and turning into bacon strips."
"With that being said, will the first victim take the stand?" said Judge Bacon. Porky walked up to the stand.
"Where were you yesterday afternoon at 3 o'clock?" asked Judge Bacon.
"I was at the m-m-m-m-m-market. I was out of corn meal and had to feed my little p-p-p-piglets and my wife, Miss Piggy," said Porky.
"Can I see Miss Piggy on the stand, please?" asked Judge Bacon.
Miss Piggy waddled up to the stand. "Yesterday I was at home all day. A parent had to stay at home with the children while the other went to the store. We were out of corn meal and the kids were starving. You can ask all my baby piggies, I was at home with them while Porky went to the market."
Judge Bacon dismissed Miss Piggy from the stand. He then summoned Hamilton to the stand.
"Hamilton, tell me about your day yesterday."
"Well, I woke up around noon because the night before I was at the Farmhouse with some friends," explained Hamilton. (The Farmhouse was the most popular night club and bar in Oink City.)
"And obviously I woke up starving so I went to the Greenhouse, my favorite restaurant, to get some grub."
"Grub?" asked Judge Bacon.
"Yeah, you know like vegetables, grass, and maybe chicken strips."
The jury gasped. It was unheard of for pigs to eat meat. It just wasn't right and didn't make sense. The pigs from Oink City were allies with animals from other towns such as Mooville and Chicktown.
"Yeah, you can even look at my receipt if you want," said Hamilton.
"Next!" said Judge Bacon. Ollie, a younger pig, walked up to the stand nervously.
"Ollie, where were you yesterday at 3 o'clock?"
"Well... I didn't eat any meat. I didn't have any," said Ollie.
"You didn't have any?" said Judge Bacon.
"No, Judge Bacon."
"So what were you doing?"
"I told you, I wasn't eating meat."
Judge Bacon, frustrated from the trial, let out a big sigh. "Alright, can I please have the final victim to the stand."
Pinky strolled up to the stand.
"Pinky, tell me what you were up to yesterday afternoon."
"Well, I was out at the Farmhouse the night before enjoying a nice pigtini and dancing the night away. I accidentally drank too many pigtinis and ended up falling asleep. When I woke up yesterday afternoon, I still felt happy from the pigtinis so I just squealed and couldn't find my way home."
"You were lost?" asked Judge Bacon.
"Yes! I was so confused where I was. So I just said 'wee, wee, wee' until I was able to find my way home." Pinky was not the smartest pig in the barn.
"How did you get home?"
"I just hopped on the big green tractor sitting outside of the Farmhouse!"
"Thank you, Pinky, that is all," said Judge Bacon.
The jury gathered together to make their decision and gave Judge Bacon the verdict. Judge Bacon banged his gavel.
Knock, knock, knock!
"The jury has reached a verdict," announced Judge Bacon.
"The court finds Pinky guilty of a traffic violation She is sentenced to two weeks in the barn. Court adjourned."
I decided to use a video instead of an image this week because this commercial is hilarious, it is one of my favorite Geico advertisements, and it relates to the story. Enjoy!
Author's Note:
I based this story off of the Nursery Rhyme This Little Piggy. The rhyme is below.
THIS pig went to market;
This pig stayed at home;
This pig had a bit of meat,
And this pig had none;
This pig said, "Wee, wee, wee!
I can't find my way home."
I retold the original nursery rhyme as a courtroom drama. Each piggy in my story represents one of the pigs from the nursery rhyme. Porky is the pig that went to the market, Miss Piggy is the pig who stayed at home, Hamilton is the big who had a bit of meat, Ollie was the pig who had none, and Pinky was the pig who said, "Wee, wee ,wee" and couldn't find her way home. I decided to make the story more animal-like and gave my story different "piglike" characteristics. For example, the judge's name was named Judge Bacon (since pigs are bacon) and all of the pigs lived in Oink City. Also, I thought it was comical to rename an adult alcoholic beverage an "pigtini" instead of calling it martini or another real beverage name.I put links to resources that talk about each character and the famous shows and movies that they originated from! I thought it would be cool to bring them all into one story! I had a lot of fun recreating this nursery rhyme into a story and hope everyone enjoys it!
Story source: The Nursery Rhyme Book edited by Andrew Lang and illustrated by L. Leslie Brooke (1897).
